'The Ultimatum: Queer Love' season one cast — where are they now?Photo by Simone Thompson/NetflixWhen Netflix premiered The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On in 2022, viewers watched straight couples face a tricky question: “Will you marry me, or walk away?”
In 2023, the streamer spun off a bold new experiment in The Ultimatum: Queer Love, which featured five LGBTQ+ duos who swapped partners for “trial marriages,” then reunited to decide if they’d commit forever or call it quits.
Over ten drama‑packed episodes, one partner issued an ultimatum—marry or move on—and the candidates moved in with someone else, blurring lines of romance, identity, and self‑growth.
After a fiery reunion special, only one pair stayed engaged.
Now that Netflix has announced season 2, let’s catch up with the original cast—where they started on camera, what happened behind the scenes, and where their love stands today.
Yoly, haunted by her feelings for Xander, still accepted Mal’s wedding proposal. However, continued rumblings about trust and honesty unraveled their bond.
Their finale “I do” rang hollow, and both acknowledged they’d rather be friends than spouses. Eventually, even that fizzled.
Yoly dove into a “dating me” era—solo cooking videos, dog‑mom adventures, and, in November 2023, soft-launched her new partner, Domenick Flores, whom she still dates as of May 2025.
Her Instagram is a tapestry of travel vlogs, Pilates classes, and sunset kisses with her new love.
Mal, ever the romantic, forged an unbreakable “family” friendship with Lexi, FaceTiming her daily.
She’s deeply involved in community organizing, streaming self-care tips, and introducing us to her new girlfriend, Sammy Picone.
Tiff, an LGBTQ+ coach hopeful, asked Mildred, a devoted mother and Zumba instructor, for marriage, despite repeated blowups over communication and Tiff’s role in Mildred’s son’s life.
Their trial pairing with other partners only magnified tensions, and a revealing reunion unveiled an alleged domestic dispute, culminating in Tiff’s dramatic exit. No vows, no healing—just headlines.
Tiff harnessed the drama into creative ventures, including co-hosting the Fweebs Podcast, launching Cameo shout-outs, and speaking at Pride events coast to coast. They’re single, thrifting vintage looks, leveling up in web design studies, and advocating for domestic violence awareness. Their Instagram is a mix of motivational reels and cameo appearances.
After losing their dog, Shylo, they introduced us all to their new dog, Bucket, a few months ago.
Mildred retreated from the spotlight after social‑media backlash, resurfacing only for Zumba livestreams and occasional “healing through dance” posts.
Although Mildred hasn’t returned to mainstream platforms, she’s reportedly attending local fitness classes and focusing on her son—proof that stepping away can be part of one’s own ultimatum to survive and thrive. She told Netflix Tudum that she’s not ready for anything serious and enjoys being single.
Vanessa, a fierce influencer, and Xander, a Hawaii‑based PT and coach, were the only couple to say no on their Ultimatum Day. Vanessa’s fear of losing herself clashed with Xander’s desire for partnership.
Even though they had a sweet moment together during the reunion that seemed as though they’d continue in friendship, the two have slowly become more estranged.
Vanessa, who was dubbed the villain on the season,decamped to L.A., embracing a “solo era” of European backpacking, luxury brand collabs, and living her best life.
It appears that she is currently single, despite some rumored relationships over the years.
Xander, meanwhile, stayed in Hawaii. She launched her physical-therapy practice, studied to be a yoga instructor, and even weighed out a move to San Diego before deciding to stay put.
In a photo collage reconnecting with the cast from the show, she said she would do it all over again just to be where she is now.
Lexi, the confident content creator, laid down the law with Rae, a soft‑spoken software engineer, demanding a yes‑or‑no answer about marriage.
In their trial marriage, Rae’s chemistry with Vanessa sparked jealousy, but ultimately, Rae proposed to Lexi in a candlelit finale. Lexi tearfully accepted, vowing to build a future together. Yet fans cringed as Lexi’s micromanaging clashed with Rae’s need for emotional space, setting the stage for a rocky reunion.
By reunion day, the engagement ring had already been shelved.
Lexi shifted gears post‑show into full‑time influencing, partnering with wellness brands, sharing weight‑lifting clips, and launching a relationship with photographer Kristin Zancanelli (a.k.a. “Zanc”), whom she engaged in March 2024.
Lexi’s content now celebrates queer love with floral ring selfies and workout duets.
Rae, meanwhile, traded Orange County for Los Angeles and doubled down on personal empowerment.
The former fiancée boasts a thriving career as a software engineer, globe‑trotting TikToks, and weekly therapy sessions to unlearn people‑pleasing patterns. She’s now in a relationship with talent manager Caitlin Kearney.
Sam, an optimistic social worker, confronted Aussie, a nonbinary artist wrestling with past trauma, demanding a ring or a breakup.
Their trial marriages tested Aussie’s boundaries, as well as Aussie’s journey through gender identity exploration, and anchored their bond. In a surprise finale, Aussie accepted Sam’s proposal, promising to heal and grow together.
Photo by Simone Thompson/Netflix
They remain the only couple from Season 1 to still be engaged, prioritizing their personal journeys over wedding plans.
On Instagram, Sam shares Aussie’s leather‑punk lookbooks and wellness check‑ins, while Aussie chronicles nights out in Loewe boots and gender‑euphoric fashion experiments. Aussie credits Sam for allowing them to explore their identity, and in return, has coached Sam through family‑origin work and somatic therapy.
Although they haven’t set a date, they’ve locked down one detail: only Tiff and Vanessa get wedding invites.
Sam and Aussie’s continued engagement proved that sometimes a bold ultimatum can blossom into a true partnership. The rest have scattered into new relationships, careers, and creative projects—each writing their own happily‑ever‑after, whether single, partnered, or soulfully solo.
With season 2 on the horizon, six new queer couples will test love’s boundaries all over again. Will Netflix’s next batch finally produce a second success story? Or will more hearts be broken on the path to marriage?
One thing’s certain: we’ll be here, popcorn at the ready, to track every ring, breakup, and soft‑launch in the queer love multiverse.
